oars folded up like wings

she came quickly over to me and held out her hand. i looked at her full of distrust. was she doing this freely, with a light heart? or was she doing it just to get rid of me? she put her arm around my neck, tears in her eyes. i just stood and looked at her. she offered me her mouth but i couldn't believe her, it was bound to be a sacrifice on her part, a means of getting it over with. she said something, it sounded to me like "i love you anyway!" she said it very softly and indistinctly, i may not have heard it correctly, perhaps she didn't say exactly those words. but she threw herself passionately on my neck, held both arms around my neck a little while, even raised herself on tiptoe to reach well up, and stood thus. afraid that she was forcing herself to show me this tenderness, i merely said "how beautiful you are now!" that was all i said. i stepped back, bumped against the door and walked out backward. she was left standing inside.
~ Wednesday, January 18 ~
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